I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize