so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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