Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
