nut hugger
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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