it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
