Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
