You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize