Jerry, you need to find god
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
God I need to hump something, right now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
