We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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