Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize