Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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