Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
