Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
