My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
