No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
