I hope mine doesn't look like that
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
