Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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