my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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