Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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