My first STD was from a foam party
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
