Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
