just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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