$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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