Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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