I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
