proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
