That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
