He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
