i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
