yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
