Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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