Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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