You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
