I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
