tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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