that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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