Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
