Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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