So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
