Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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