we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
