I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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