Can Purell be used as lube?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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