This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
