Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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