She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
