I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
