how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
