I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
