It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
