Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
