dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
