Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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