Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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