So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
