apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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