Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
