i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
