you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize