SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize