Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
