It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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