you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
