When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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