It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
