Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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